Boo! I Need BOO-BIES!

I hope everyone has a safe & fun Halloween night!!

My girl friends & I are dressing up and going out on the town. I haven't been downtown in forever, so it will be nice to get out and get my mind off things! I'm glad I have such good girlfriends - sometimes I don't know what I'd do without them. Have a great day & night everyone!!

P.S. This is totally random, but if you have boobs. You better be thankful! Bridgette & I were trying to fix my boobs last night so that I could have some cleavage...I'm pretty sure we put 2 bras on me, and 2 folded socks underneath, LOL it kind of worked, but we may have to tape them together too. It was HILARIOUS! Such a pain in the butt though! All I have to say is, after I have kids someday, if they don't grow...I'm getting a pair =)

Let Go & Let God - It Was Fun While It Lasted Though.

To let go does not mean to stop caring, it means I can't do it for someone else. To let go is not to cut myself off, it's the realization I can't control another. To let go is not to enable, but allow learning from natural consequences. To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.To let go is not to try to change or blame another, it's to make the most of myself.To let go is not to care for, but to care about.To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.To let go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their destinies.To let go is not to be protective, it's to permit another to face reality.To let go is not to deny, but to accept.To let go is not to nag, scold or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.To let go is not to criticize or regulate anybody, but to try to become what I dream I can be.To let go is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.To let go is to fear less and love more.

Why is trusting God so difficult? The Bible says this about trusting God, "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding" (Proverbs 3:5). Furthermore, it tells us that "He who trusts in himself is a fool. . ." (Proverbs 28:26). Still, most of us have difficulty trusting God at least at one point or another in our walk with Him. There are probably many reasons why trusting is difficult. God's ways don't always make sense to us. God told Noah to build an ark. It may have never rained up to this point and the nearest body of water was probably many miles away. It could not have made much sense to Noah at all (story found in Genesis 6-8). We want life to make sense. We always want to set our own terms and timetables. God works on a different timetable than our minds comprehend. God promised Abraham a son from his own body through his wife Sarah. It was at least 24 years before this promise was fulfilled in the manner in which God had promised. In the meantime, Abraham and Sarah had difficulty trusting God and tried their own methods to fulfill the promise (read about this in Genesis 15-17). We want what we want and we want it. . .now! It is difficult to trust in a plan that requires us to surrender all control of the time for completion. In order to trust in God, you must totally surrender your will, your ideas, your desires, and your future in to God's hands. Many of us are "control freaks." We don't want to give the control of any part of our lives over to another. If you don't believe that God loves you fully and really does have your best interests at heart and desires the very best for you, trusting Him is going to be extremely difficult. It takes a very special relationship to allow that measure of surrender.

Most of us have a tendency to claim trust in God. However, at the first sign of any difficulty or trial, we think that God must not love us because He is allowing this difficulty to happen.

The trial is exactly what God is using to test the level of trust that we have in Him. In spite of the trials, we always have God's promise that the trials and tests that we go through are for our good.

(Romans 8:28, Hebrews 12:2, 2 Corinthians 4:17, James 1:2).

We learn that it is through trust that our relationship with God strengthens and our love for Him grows. We can trust in many things. None, however, offer the protection plan, the long term security, or the benefits that trusting in God offers. All of the other things in which we place our trust can fail. God never fails! In the words of King David, "Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. . ." (1 Chronicles 28:20).

Best of Craigslist

I don't know if any of you browse craigslist but if you do, there is a section called "The Best Of" and there are hundreds of hilarious postings. I came across this one this morning and thought that you married ladies would enjoy it =)

I've been married for 15 years. Sometimes it's been great, sometimes it's really sucked, and sometimes we just plugged along because time keeps moving. Being an observant person, here's some things I've learned along the way:

1) Ladies, we really, honestly can't read your mind. Please, please help us out on this: Say what you mean, and mean what you say. Save the "If I say this then they'll think the opposite" shit for your manipulative friends. We really aren't smart enough to figure out what you mean if you say the opposite of what you want us to do.

2) Ladies, withholding sex from us is not in your best interest. We really do think about sex a lot, and when you withhold it thinking that we'll do things for you that we're not doing, you're asking for trouble. If you gave us MORE sex, we'd be more likely to do those things. Seriously. And sex more often means we can control ourselves better, so we'll last longer to satisfy you. Seriously.

3) We're not good with verbal lists longer than three items. You want us to pick up milk, bread, eggs AND get gas in the car AND don't forget to stop by the post office to pick up stamps? This is what we heard, "Eggs... gas... office," and now we think we should buy some Gas-X so you won't break wind at work. WRITE. IT. DOWN. Seems like a hassle, I know, but it will save time in the long run. Really.

4) Yes, we did just look at that cute thing that walked by and smiled at us. No, we aren't interested in her, because you're giving us lots of sex as was mentioned in point #2.

5) Please don't ask us what we're feeling. Unless it's anger (which we totally understand) or sadness (which is only a 'sometimes-undersand'), we don't "feel" things like you do. Ask us what we think. We like to fix stuff. We want to be your hero, your protecter, the man who fixes things for you when you're hurt or upset or whatever. What we can't deal with is when you complain about that same things over and over and over and not let us do anything about it. Either let us fix it, or let us know we can't fix it then tell us once and let it go.

6) Guys: Take out the trash without being asked. Even if it's not full, take it out, and then (and this is IMPORTANT!) replace the bag in the can! Just do it. She WILL notice (because she's taking it out now).

7) Stop bitching about her to your guy friends. NOW. When she finds out about what you say, she WILL remember it. FOREVER. And she won't forget it - even if you apologize. If the guys ask what's up with your wife/gf, say she's under a lot of stress and leave it at that. If they press, just say, "Well, she does have to put up with ME."

8) Ladies, please tell us when it's a week before you start your period. A simple, "I might be a little moody for the next week," will suffice. We will gladly overlook the odd outbursts due to hormonal imbalances til that week is passed.

9) Men, when your spouse/gf says, "I might be a little moody for the next week," make a mental note and when she seems to overreact over something stupid or starts crying because the mail got delivered 5 minutes late that week, you'll know what it is. And don't tell anyone else, just shut up and keep it to yourself. She doesn't want you announcing it to the whole world that she's PMS'ing.

10) Make time for each other. Even if it's the 30 minutes before you go to bed so the kids are finally upstairs, take that time just for the two of you. Guys, shut up and listen to her once in a while. You might just learn something about her, and besides, she'll appreciate it. Ladies: surprise us with sex when we least expect it. We know you're tired, cranky, and not in the mood because Johnny is sick with the flu. Surprise every so often (not once every six months, either). We will remember this if you do it often enough. Really.

Finally, guys and ladies - learn to overlook the little crap that doesn't matter. Celebrate the little successes you have. Compliment each other daily. Tell them you love them. Say out loud that you appreciate what they do for you. Make sure they know that they are important to you. Do this even on the days that they have pissed you off. It takes effort on your part, yes. But in the long run, life is so much easier and better when the person you should be closest to really is close to you, and is your advocate when things are shitty, your cheerleader when things are awesome, and your best friend all the time. It really is a journey together. Have fun and enjoy the ride with them. Life's too short not to do that.

Don't WORRY, Be HAPPY

A Piece Of Me.

Some of you may know this story about me, and some of you may not. A little less than a year ago...I was coming home from my parents house, I went over there to have dinner and hang out, like any other day... but on the way home...all of the sudden, out of nowhere...I couldn't breathe...then I couldn't see very well.....then I felt my stomach twist into a knot (literally) then I couldn't feel my hands..then I couldn't feel my lips...and last but not least...I couldn't move my hands & fingers. All of this was happening while I was trying to drive. I couldn't figure out for the life of me, what was going on. At the time, I didn't have my cell phone with me, so I couldn't call 911 or my parents. I just remember thinking and feeling like I was about to die and praying to God that he would allow me to make it home first. I could barely hold the steering wheel, or see the road for that matter, so I know my guardian angels protected me & helped me make it home safely. When I got home, I tried to take a hot shower to see if it would go away, but it just kept getting worse and worse. I still didn't have my phone (I had lost it the previous day) so I went to my neighbors house and asked if I could call my mom. I called my mom and told her what was going on and I told her that I felt like something was wrong with me, she laughed, and said "of course something's wrong with you, we've told you that since you were born!" JUST KIDDING. She didn't say that. She told me to try and calm down and take deep breaths, etc etc. I took her advice, I paced back and forth in my neighbors house, but it wasn't getting any better. I proceeded to call her back and tell her to come to my house. As she was loading up her stuff and heading over, my neighbors and I decided to call for an ambulance because I still felt as if I was going to die. I went outside and kept pacing back and forth in the parking lot, trying to calm myself down and I kept thinking of all the possible reasons for what was going on, but of course, there was no way for me to figure out what was going on. Finally, the ambulance showed up. I had never been in an ambulance or a hospital for that matter, so it freaked me out even more. They sat me down, hooked me up to some sort of oxygen thingy that went underneath my nose to count how many times I inhaled. They checked my blood pressure & heart. My heart rate was elevated but go figure, I was freaking out! They came to the conclusion that I was having a severe anxiety attack and that the reason that my face and my hands were numb is because I was breathing too heavily and too much carbon dioxide was getting into my blood stream, causing me to go numb. I'm not exactly sure how that works, but oh well. After sitting in the ambulance and still not being able to feel my hands or face and my stomach still tied in a knot, I began to feel extremely claustrophobic (which isn't normal for me) so I told the EMT's to let me out of the ambulance - they must have thought I was crazy =) but I needed to get out and walk around and try to calm myself down. So that is what I did. I got out, and went back to pacing in the parking lot. Meanwhile my mom and the EMT's talked while I was off in my own little world. The EMT kept asking me "has anything been bothering you lately? I think if you take a moment and think about it and search your heart, you will realize that something has been going on. Something has upset you. Something has stressed you out. etc" At the time, I told him no & that everything was fine. But deep down I knew that several things had been on my mind over the course of the last few months, but I have just blown them off and not let them get the best of me. Or so I thought! They kept on trying to talk to me, but talking to me was making matters worse. I didn't want to think about what was going on, I didn't want to think about what had been bothering me, I just wanted to be left alone, so that my body would eventually calm itself down and go back to normal. With that being said, they EMT's decided to leave. They gave me the option of going with them and getting a shot of something to calm me down, or stay home. I decided to stay home. My mom and I were convinced that she & I would find a way to calm my nerves. I had been feeling this way (not able to breathe, numb, etc etc) for about 2 hours, from the time I was in my car to the time the EMT's left. I decided to try and take a hot bath, I still couldn't breathe and my body was still in a state of shock. Then I decided to lay downstairs on the couch, with my head in my moms lap, in total silence & darkness and just "relax" she played with my hair, rubbed my back, etc. we were trying everything to make me fall asleep and it wasn't working. Out of the blue, I asked my mom to go get me some Nyquil since it always put's people to sleep. She went and bought me some, I took it & I was out in a matter of no time.Long story, short. I had suffered from a severe anxiety attack. I haven't always chosen the easy road in life, I have taken the long/hard road when it comes to many things and as a result, it has been hard on me, and some times have been harder than others. I have always tried to be strong and not let the bumps in the road, bring me down. I may cry about it for a day, then I suck it up and keep on going. Little did I know, that even though mentally & emotionally I was fine, deep down inside I was still worried/stressed etc. about all the things I had thought I "let go" of. So as a result, my body reacted and that is what caused the anxiety attack. It's very similar to what causes people to have heart attacks, so often we go through hard times and put ourselves in hard situations and then we try to convince ourselves that we are fine or that we don't care, but our body is a lot smarter than we realize and no matter what you tell yourself, your body knows when you are worried about something, or when you are upset at someone, or when you are stressed about something. And regardless of what your mind is telling you, your body will react on it's own. So that's what happened. From that day forward...I was scared to get in my car and drive for more than 5 minutes. I would drive to work & back home. I didn't want to drive to my parents house any more because I would have flashbacks of what happened to me on the way back home that night. Friends would call and invite me to go do things, but if it wasn't within a 5 mile radius of my house, then I would just make up an excuse and I wouldn't go. It was really starting to create a problem, because I'm not the type of person to seclude myself or say no to going places with my friends & family. I found myself starting to be very upset because of all of this simply because as badly as I wanted to go, every time I would get in the car and start to go somewhere, the symptoms would start to come back. I would slowly but surely not be able to breathe, my hands would start to sweat, my stomach would start to get tight & I had no way of stopping it. After a few months of dealing with this, I finally decided I had to do something. I hadn't told my friends (except my best friend) or my family that I was still having problems. Then finally one day I told my mom what was going on and how I couldn't get in the car and go anywhere anymore without having this problem and she made me promise her (and so did my best friend) that I would go see a doctor. I was embarrassed that here I am 25 years old and could no longer be in the car without my body freaking out on me. It was embarrassing to have to make up excuses as to why I couldn't go have lunch with someone, or why I couldn't ride with my family out to my aunts lakehouse for Easter. But I had absolutely no control over the situation or over my body, which is why I broke down and decided to go see the doctor. When I went to see him, I explained to him what happened the night I was heading home from my parents and I told him that now, every time I'm in the car for longer than 5 minutes, my body immediately goes into "attack" mode for no apparent reason. It was embarrassing/scary/and saddening to me all at the same time but my mom kept telling me that this sort of thing is part of life. People deal with health issues every day, which is true, but it was hard for me to handle because it was out of the blue. One day I was fine. The next, I was scared of driving. Needless to say, the doctor told me that this is very common. He talks to people on a daily basis that have anxiety attacks. After he told me this, I felt much better and I didn't feel like such a freak =) ha. He told me that he's met people who have out of nowhere, gone into an anxiety attack at their house, and from that day on, they never stepped foot out of their house again, because the fear of having another anxiety attack. Or some people have had them on an airplane and because of it, they will never fly again, even though they use to fly on a daily basis.
He gave me a scenario to help explain exactly what was happening to me.....he said it is like a lion that goes into a cave and get's attacked by another lion....from the day forward...any time the lion goes in or around the cave, the hair on it's back will stand and it will sense danger and it won't go back into the cave. Our bodies kind of work the same way. Because the traumatic anxiety attack happened while I was driving, my body naturally senses "fear" & "danger" when I am in the car. And it will continue to be that way, until it shown otherwise. So that is why, every time I would get in my car, my body would automatically go into "attack" mode and I would begin to have an anxiety attack. It's our bodies way of trying to protect us, even though it doesn't necessarily feel that way. I also began telling a few of my close friends, and to my surprise, a few of my friends have struggled with this problem in the past and it was nice to be able to talk to others around me that have experienced the same thing & can relate to how it can take its toll on a person. Talking to them really help me through the hard times & I am forever grateful of that because at one point I was really down and felt alone & didn't know what to do or who to turn to. So anyways, as I said before, I haven't always taken the easy road in life. Over the last several years, lots of bad things have happened in my life (some as consequences to my own actions, others just out of bad luck), I have also put myself in several stressful situations as a result of stupid decisions and my body finally started to react & thankfully it chose an anxiety attack and not a heart attack, haha. He gave me a prescription for anxiety medication to take on a daily basis to prevent anxiety as well as Xanex to take when/if I feel anxiety coming on. The Xanex will immediately take away the anxiety. I took the daily medication for about a month, and I took the Xanex on an emergency basis (if I was going to drive across town, or ride in the car with my friends somewhere) after a month I stopped taking the daily medication because a.) my insurance wouldn't cover it b.) I didn't want to have to rely on a medicine every day. A lof of anxiety is created mentally, by the thoughts we have in our head. So I was determined to figure out a way to stop stressing as much and/or stop worrying about things that I have no control over in my life & ultimately put my life in God's hands & trust him with everything.
Slowly but surely I was able to drive around town without having major issues. The first big step & big test was when I was dating my ex boyfriend and he invited me to come see him in Grapevine. I hesitated and made excuses the first few times, then I told him the story, he was supportive & understanding and I decided to suck it up and drive 3 1/2 hours in the car by myself to go see him. I made the trip =) and it was such a relief. I felt like I had finally conquered this stupid issue I have had weighing on my shoulders for so long.I am happy to say that I don't have anxiety about driving on a day to day basis anymore & I do still have a prescription for Xanex which I still use (but very rarely) if for some reason I feel anxiety coming on at home or at work, or while I am out. I have also traveled to South Padre (7 hours away) since it first happened to me. I traveled to Dallas for the TX/OU game with Jason. And now I will be driving for the 2nd time by myself...to Katy this weekend. In the back of my mind, I still get a little nervous about the car rides sometimes and on certain occasions I am tempted to not go & do certain things, but for the most part, I have learned to reassure myself that everything will be ok. However, to be honest, I do have one thing that I still have to overcome and that is my fear of flying. I use to not be afraid of flying, infact before this all happened I would do anything for the opportunity to fly & travel, I loved it! Heck, I was even entertaining the idea of being a flight attendant. But ever since the anxiety attack happened, I am scared of getting on an airplane, in fear of having an anxiety attack while up in the air, with no way of getting out. It's strange, I know...but I am going to have to cross that bridge when I get to it. To be trapped on an airplane during an anxiety attack, freaks me out, just thinking about it. I guess because I wouldn't be able to get out, not to mention, the claustrophobia would start to kick in and I would probably be a huge mess. But then again, that's what my emergency anxiety pills are for, but still, it's going to be a challenge for me when/if the opportunity to travel ever presents itself. To those on the outside looking in, all of this may sound ridiculous - but I can't explain to you what an anxiety attack of that nature, feels like. I seriously thought I was going to die, and if you have never had something like that happen, then it's kind of hard to understand. Sometimes I wonder if this is God's way of putting me to the test. And if he is trying to prove to me that I need to put all my trust in him. And let HIM be in control of my life instead of me thinking that I can figure it all out on my own. Regardless of whether it is a test or not, I have definitely learned a few lessons since all of this has happened. And I have truly learned to trust in him and I know that he is control of everything in my life & I know that I don't have to spend every minute of every day, worrying about all the good and bad things that may come my way anymore, because ultimately it is all in his hands. I know that he won't give me anything, that I cannot handle. I know that he has a plan for my life & that it is all going to work out the way that it is suppose to. Worrying about it is not going to get me there any faster, so I have learned to take a step back and enjoy it while I can (even though sometimes I still struggle). The point is, life is too short to worry. There are people in this world that are dealing with things much worse than the little trials in my life. Like people who are dying from cancer. People who don't have food to eat, or a place to sleep at night. So in retrospect, I really don't have much to "worry" about. I am so grateful that I am in the process of overcoming this, I can't imagine living life the way I did the few months after the incident, nor can I imagine how some people let the fear overtake them and keep them hostage in their own home for the rest of their lives. Every time I get in my car and have the opportunity to drive out of town, I think back to the day when I wouldn't/couldn't even drive to South Austin & I thank God for giving me the strength to fight this battle and for holding my hand through it all. I realize now that he will never leave my side. Soooo, back to what I was saying, we are human, we are going to make mistakes. Sometimes in life we are forced to take the good times with the bad, etc but it is up to us to determine how we handle the not so good times. We have 2 options...we can let life's situations get the best of us, or we can make the best of our situations in life.

As Gary Allen once put it:
"Life's..not...always beautiful,.but..it's.. a...beautiful ride"

I've Been Tagged By Amy!

10 Years Ago, in October 1998, I was:

1. Living at home

2. Going to school @ Brentwood Christian

3. Wearing braces

4. Addicted to Dawson's Creek

5. Playing the clarinet

Five things on today's "to do" list:

1. Work

2. Sleep

3. Clean

4. Talk to Jason

5. Do laundry

Five things that I would do if I were a millionaire:

1.Buy my parents a new house

2. Send my parents on a long vacation

3. Purchase a new fabulous wardrobe

4. Help the less fortunate

5. Buy myself a house,car, and vacation. (ok maybe this one is more than 5, oops!)

Five Places I have Lived:

1. North Austin

2. South Austin

3. Northwest Austin

4. Austin

5. Annnnd Austin!

Five Jobs I have had:

1. Client Service Coordinator

2. Tour guide @ at cave

3. Tanning Salon Manager

4. Administrative Assistant

5. Hostess @ Olive Garden (my first job, awww)

Five people I am tagging:

My sister, Jess, Brittany, Debralea, Nicci

P.S. I EXPECT SOME COMMENTS PEOPLE! YA'LL GAVE ME A HARD TIME FOR NEVER BLOGGING, NOW I BLOG ALL THE TIME AND I HAVE NO READERS!!! =) GET WITH IT LADIES! HEHE.

The Greatest Thing Since Sliced Bread!

Look at what my friend found at H.E.B.!!!

Yes, it's real! On the box it states that it was brewed from an independent brewing company right here in Austin,Texas!

You can bet your booty I'm gonna buy a box! Gotta love being a LONGHORN!! I guess when you're #1 you can get away with this kind of stuff!

Poor Oklahoma.......

~Hook Em Horns~

=)

Hills Free Music Series

Every Wednesday at Hills Cafe. KVET 98.1 has a free Texas Music concert featuring the top Texas Country bands ( like the bands I have listed below ) normally these concerts cost 20 or so bucks to go to, but not at Hills. It's absolutely FREE!! It is generally only during the summer but they extended it a month or so this year, which is awesome! Yesterday the Randy Rogers Band was playing and I was so excited to see them because they are my favorite band right now. Well, as most of you know....the weather was nasty yesterday, so they couldn't do it at Hills because the stage is outside underneath an oak tree. So they decided to move it to Midnight Rodeo!! My guy friend (Matt) and I went - - we go every Wednesday - - and it was such a great show! We were up in the very front, right in front of the stage, we had a blast! Below are some pictures, if you get a moment, go check out their music - - they have some great music. Especially their #1 single "In My Arms Instead"

Texas Country Music Scene

~Check These Bands Out~

Randy Rogers Band

http://www.randyrogersband.com/

Stoney Larue

http://www.stoneylarue.com/home.shtml

Brandon Rhdyer

http://www.brandonrhyder.com/

Eli Young Band

http://www.eliyoungband.com/

Wade Bowen

http://www.wadebowen.com/

Roger Creager

http://www.rogercreager.com/

Those of you that know me, know that music is a passion/hobby of mine! I am always going to concerts, mainly Texas Country concerts! I have listed a few of my favorite bands. Go to their websites, they should all have music clips available or you can always look them up on myspace as well. Let me know what you think!

Enjoy!!

Kevin Fowler

I met him years ago on the Redneck Roadtrip and we use to all hang out before he got really big in the music industry so now he is not in town very often, but when he is, I try my best to go see him.. I still adore him & love his music. He's such an amazing musician :) Anyhoo, I saw him tonight for free @ Hills Cafe. So much fun! Hopefully I'll see him again this weekend at the State Fair! He told me to come by and say hi again, so you can bet your booty I'm gonna try!!! I had such a good time tonight, time for bed! xoxo

http://www.kevinfowler.com/

Hey, Good Lookin!

George Strait - The King of Country Music

Kenny Chesney - Country Music Singer

Matthew Mchonohey - Texas native, Hollywood Actor

Ben Affleck - Hollywood Actor

Paul Walker - Hollywood Actor

Josh Turner - Country Music Singer

Tony Romo - Dallas Cowboys Quarterback

Jason Aldean - Country Music Singer (I've hung out w/him before cause one of my best friends knows him. He's not the greatest guy, but regardless he's nice to look at)

Dane Cook - Comedian

Brody Jenner - The Hills - T.V Star

Nick Lachey - Ex-Boy Band Singer

If you are wondering what the point of this blog is...there isn't one. I just wanted to post something fun to look at on here. Which guys do ya'll agree/disagree with on my list? Who's on your list?

*Please don't say "The Rock" he is NOT attractive, haha*